


For Beginners

by Catchclaw



Series: Mental Mimosa [246]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18325403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catchclaw/pseuds/Catchclaw
Summary: Having a thing for somebody you’ve known forever is seriously terrible. Believe me. Especially when said friend who’s only ever dated girls announces to you one night junior year over pizza and bogarted beer that actually, he’s pretty sure that he’s bi.





	For Beginners

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: we’re best friends and we take each others’ virginity. Prompt from this [generator](http://colormayfade.tumblr.com/generator).

I’ve never been of the “just get it over with” school, but my best friend Buck, he didn’t feel the same way. If we were talking about ripping off band-aids or something, sure; anything to shorten the sting. But sex? To me, that was nowhere near the same thing.

The night that Bucky decided to tear off that band-aid, we were a few weeks from heading off to college, driving in different directions way the hell out of New Jersey, and in retrospect, that Bucky made it that long without so much as kissing a guy is kind of amazing. I mean, he loved sex, made no bones about it, and women, they freaking _loved_ Bucky. In high school, he had a constant stream of steadies who would gush at anybody who’d listen about Bucky’s mouth: what an amazing kisser he was and how much he loved going down on them and how hard, how many times in a row he could make them come.

I didn’t want to know anything about that--Bucky never said a word to me--but the Greek girl chorus that sang his praises was really damn hard to ignore.

Also, I’d been dreaming about Bucky’s mouth for years. My imagination didn’t need any more ammo; the guys I dated already had a hard time measuring up. More often than not, no matter how much I thought I liked whoever was sucking my cock, when I got close, my brain went right to Bucky and even as I had enough sense to say the other guy’s name when I came, I kept my eyes closed and let myself pretend a little longer.

Having a thing for somebody you’ve known forever is seriously terrible. Believe me. Especially when said friend who’s only ever dated girls announces to you one night junior year over pizza and bogarted beer that actually, he’s pretty sure that he’s bi.

“But I can’t--it’s not like I’m going to do anything about it,” Bucky’d said, reaching over me for the remote. “Not until college.”

“Why not?”

“Dude,” he huffed, “Carter High’s not exactly a rainbow utopia. You know that better than anybody. This town has a hard enough time understanding gay; I don’t think they’re real ready for bi.”

I sipped at my beer and tried to hide my judgy face. Tried. “You have to be you, though. You shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m still me, Steve. I’m just putting a part of myself away in reserve.” He looked away from the TV and grinned at me, a perfect Bucky Barnes smirk. “I’m like a fine wine. The bi thing will only get finer with age.”

Until that night in July when we were less than a month away from college, from being free of this town at last, and Bucky decided in a semi-almost panic that now was the time to crack open that cask.

“I don’t understand,” I said for the third time in five minutes. Honest to god, I couldn’t believe it, the fumble of panicked bullshit that’d come out of his mouth. “Bucky, come on. Slow down. You’re not making any sense.”

He was pacing around my room with his hair in his hands, his fingers wound so tight in dark strands I thought they might break. (The strands, not his fingers.) It was after midnight and my mom was working the night shift, like she always did on weekends. The house was so quiet I could hear the dog snoring upstairs on the couch.

“Steve,” Bucky said, an edge of panic in his voice. “Steve, I swear to god, I’m an idiot. What the fuck am I going to do?”

I sighed and sat back on my bed. When Bucky gets like this, a bundle of nerves and emotion, it’s like talking to a thunderstorm: you just have wait for it to break. But sometimes a nudge doesn’t hurt.

“You were at Stark’s party,” I prompted.

“Yeah.”

“And you went upstairs to piss.”

He bobbed his head. “Mmm.”

“And when you came out--?”

“And when I came out, Stark was there. We started talking, you know.”

“He’s good at that,” I said drily. “Just ask him.” Tony and I had never been on the best terms--I thought he was a loudmouth (he was) and he thought I was a prig (I’m not)--but that didn’t matter anymore, did it? High school was over now.

“It was loud, though, and we couldn't hear, so we went in his room--there was a keypad lock on it, no joke, and we, I--”

“You made out.” I didn’t especially like the picture that put in my head. “Yeah, ok, you said, but--”

He stopped in the middle of the room and looked right at me, pure panic. “I didn’t know what to do. I realized that I had no fucking clue how to kiss a guy. Much less touch him or whatever.”

 _Don’t laugh_ , I told myself, biting the inside of my cheek. _Don’t laugh. Don’t._ I cleared my throat. “I mean, I can’t said this for sure, Buck, but I’m pretty sure the mechanics of making out with girls and guys are basically the same. And you’ve handled your own dick plenty. Touching somebody else’s is, you know, not that different.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Bucky said again, like he hadn’t heard me. “And I didn’t want to tell him that I--that he was the first guy who I’d ever--”

“That you’re a boy virgin?” I said.

He turned the color of strawberries, his cheeks flaming like they did when he forgot to wear sunscreen. “Yeah.”

“So in lieu of a free and potentially instructive orgasm, you ran away.”

“I did."

 _Good lord_. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “And came over to wake me up--why, exactly?”

“Because I need your help, Stevie.”

“How?”

He took a deep breath. “Look, you were right: saving the bi thing for college was a bad call. I can’t go to school as a virgin with guys. Jesus! What was I thinking? I have to have some space to like, experiment a little. Figure it out so when I meet some hot dude in Econ I can, you know. Be confident about it and not freak the fuck out.”

“I don’t disagree,” I said, reaching for patient, “but that ship has sailed, hasn’t it? Unless you want to call Tony and apologizing for bolting. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to show you the sex-with-penises ropes. And there's this thing you may have heard of called porn.”

“Dude, no. I don’t want to sleep with Tony. Obviously. And porn isn't the same thing; it's like trying to learn how to drive a car by just reading the instruction manual. No, I was thinking that you and I, we could--uh, you know." He looked right at me then, those blue eyes wide and soft and unfairly fucking gorgeous. “Try to figure some of that out together.”

“Um.” I clutched at the covers, because I'm sorry, what? “What the fuck?"

“Steve.” His voice was lower now, the kind of low that made me shiver. “I know it sounds crazy. Hell, I feel crazy saying it.”

“But you don’t like me,” I said, because it was almost one AM and I was in my stupid turtle boxers and suddenly Bucky, the person I'd loved half my life, wanted to have sex with me. Oh my god. “Not like that. You’ve never said that you--”

“Dude, I’ve told you a million times that you’re hot."

“Yeah, but you didn’t mean it.”

His brow wrinkled. “Of course I did.”

That’s it. I was clearly still dreaming. I’d woken up inside the Twilight Zone. “Come on.”

“Stevie, you’re beautiful,” he said, and ok, screw you, Rod Serling. I officially did not want to wake up. “I mean, duh. I can’t believe this is a thing you don’t know.”

Now I was the one blushing. “You don’t have to flatter me to get me to fuck you, Buck.”

We stared at each other. I seriously contemplated bolting. I could see Bucky’s hands trembling.

“You can tell me to fuck off,” he said finally. “I know I’m being ridiculous, I just--”

“Are you drunk?”

“What? No. Wasn’t drunk at Tony’s, either. Only had a beer and a half.”

I swallowed hard, tried to push down the want, the spark of real, _don’t fuck this up_ fear. “I can show you stuff, if you want.”

“Yeah?” There was a hint of a smile, a flicker of the boy who made women swoon. “You’d be ok with that?”

“So ok,” I said, maybe a little too quickly. “You should have a few tricks in your quiver before you start menacing the male population of Philadelphia, don’t you think?”

Bucky’s grin widened, storm clouds chased away by the sun. “Might be nice to bring something to the table, yeah.”

I sat up on my knees and reached out, saw his eyes go straight to the thick line of my dick that was already stretching my shorts to the limit. “Lesson one,” I said as his fingers met mine, "kitchen sex isn’t for beginners.”


End file.
